


Observe and Report

by porcelain_cats



Series: Not Quite Right - The MySpace AU [5]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Drug Use, GOOD LORD THE PINING, Gore, Jealousy, M/M, Pining, Underage Drinking, but not really?, gross awkward teenagers being gross and awkward, hux just has some slightly creepy fantasies, mentions of ying yang twins and yugioh, millicent is the light of hux's life, myspace au, myspace au canon, not described in detail though, not now boner, raunchy dialogue lmao, sears portrait studio photography, the weirdest bj of all time, we keepin it pg-13 up in here
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-29
Updated: 2016-09-12
Packaged: 2018-07-19 02:57:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,767
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7341775
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/porcelain_cats/pseuds/porcelain_cats
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kylo and Hux can't stop thinking about each other and are both invited to a big party. Feelings ensue.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. New Event Invitation!

**Author's Note:**

> Don't do what these dumb kids do.  
> For those interested, Hux is asexual with some weird kinks and Kylo is gay, but mostly just wants any kind of physical closeness.

From the day Hux revealed himself to Kylo, their relationship hung in a bizarre limbo between rivalry and friendship, though “friendship” was more like “I-talk-to-you-so-I-can-observe-and-bother-you” with a bonus “please-make-out-with-me” from Kylo’s end. Their interactions at school weren’t really all that different from how they acted online. Kylo would do something ridiculous, Hux would call him names, Kylo would flirtatiously tell him to fuck off, Hux would lean in close and whisper grotesque sweet-nothings to send a shiver down Kylo’s spine and make him ache for more.

As happy as Kylo was about the routine, Rey and Finn were summarily terrified.

_ControlledBleeding_ became _Hux_ overnight. Didn’t Kylo say he was a ginger? There happened to be a ginger Hux at school and the update of ControlledBleeding’s profile picture confirmed Rey and Finn’s worst fears. This wasn’t just some weirdo online, this was the freaky fucker at _their school_ that stole chemicals from the science lab and strangled Dopheld Mitaka in phys-ed. Kylo wasn’t just going to talk to him over AIM or webcam, he was going to be in class with him. Knowing Kylo, he was going to touch Hux too, and not just as a platonic classmate. It was a recipe for disaster.

Poe was distinctly _unconcerned_ about the whole situation, going so far as to _encourage_ Kylo’s pursuit of Teenage Satan. Kylo would have done so even without Poe’s blessing, but he certainly appreciated the support.

_Who cares what they say,_ Kylo thought during another Hux-centered lunchtime argument. _They just don’t understand the darkness inside me like Hux does._

“Hey douchenozzle, are you listening or what?” Rey shot at Kylo, some of her sandwich falling out of her mouth while she waved a hand in front of his face.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. Whateverrr,” Kylo drew out, flopping his hand at Rey dismissively. “This is the same shit you flung at me yesterday… and the day before… oh, and the day before that! ‘Hux is gross and freaky, don’t talk to him! He’s gonna cut you open and play with your guts! He’s gonna make a skin-suit out of you and wear it-’ blah blah fucking _blahhh._ So _what?!”_

The same conversation happened every lunch period and always ended with Kylo huffily smashing his pizza on the table and stomping out of the cafeteria, leaving his friends to just shake their heads - or chuckle heartily in Poe’s case. This suited Kylo just fine; leaving lunch early meant he would get into the locker room before everyone else in his P.E. class. It also gave him a chance to see Hux dish out his own special brand of violence to Bala Tik, change into his gym uniform, or both. Kylo generally hoped for both.

Kylo was in the process of tying up his hair and clipping his bangs out of his face when he heard the door of the locker room swing open, followed by one set of light footsteps.

_I guess Hux isn’t fighting today, but that just means it’ll be easier to check him out! Fucking sweeet!_

Leaning on the lockers as if to look totally casual, Kylo watched Hux meticulously remove his clothes. Shoes went first, set neatly beside each other in Hux’s locker with the laces tucked inside. Then came the black socks, rolled and placed inside the shoes. Next was the thin belt, folded gently and slid behind the shoes so it wouldn’t unravel. At this point Kylo would get antsy, from anticipation of seeing way more of Hux’s skin than usual and also from the steady flow of students entering the locker room. He sidled up to Poe, ever the enabler, who talked at him about nothing in particular. This was Kylo’s attempt at being “discreet” in his ogling of the willowy ginger just a few feet away.

While Poe rambled on about whatever came to his pot-addled mind, Kylo focused on the infinitesimal curve of Hux’s rear and the slow unveiling of long, pale legs, nearly white with how little sun they received. Like the freckles trailing down Hux’s neck, enthralling too were the ones running up his thighs. Kylo was thankful for the brief reprieve when Hux set his folded trousers into his locker and pulled up his gym shorts and socks, taking the chance to steel himself for the grand finale of Hux’s routine - The Removal of the Sweater.

As Hux lifted the sweater over his head, Kylo caught a glimpse of his ribs, just barely covered by undeveloped sheaths of muscle and tendon. As expected, the constellation of freckles continued up Hux’s back and shoulders, petering out as they got closer to his core. Though he was incredibly slim, Hux’s body was devoid of sharp lines or angles. _Like a doll,_ Kylo thought.

Softest of all was Hux’s stomach, which dipped and curved subtly when he stood up straight, and swelled when he bent at the waist. Oh the things Kylo would do to have a chance at running his hands along that smooth, yielding-

Suddenly the vision of Kylo’s angel of death was replaced by the scrunched up, beady-eyed, furry face of their school’s ewok mascot that graced the front of their gym shirts.

Poe had jumped in front of Kylo for some reason, shuffling back and forth like a crab with his arms stretched out to the side. Kylo shifted his eyes to Poe and whispered furtively, “What the hell are you doin’? You’re blocking my view, dude!” Poe winced apologetically and jerked his head towards Kylo’s lower half a few times. “What? Why do you keep doing that? S-stop, you’re being weirder than usual.”

Rolling his eyes, Poe whispered back, “You might wanna redirect your blood flow, man.”

“Huh?” Kylo followed the trajectory of Poe’s erratic nods until it dawned on him what exactly he meant. “Shit! Oh my god, stay in front of me man, keep doing that crab thing you’re doing… fuck fuck fuck!” Facing the lockers and hunching over as much as possible, Kylo tensed and relaxed his thighs until his erection flagged down. The last thing he needed right now was for Hux to see him with an embarrassing tent in his shorts. Presentable once more, Kylo glanced over his shoulder at Poe and asked, “Is he looking? Did he see? Please tell me he didn’t see anything…”

Poe finally dropped his arms down to his sides and stopped shuffling. “Uh… he definitely absolutely did not see anything… like, at all. There’s positively nothing to see over here NOPE, no sir, nothing at all.”

Despite Poe’s effort to sound as convincing as possible, Kylo risked stealing a glance at Hux anyway, just to be sure. He wished he hadn’t.

Hux’s steely eyes were unblinkingly trained on Kylo’s mortified face, raising at the corners with devilish mirth.

 

* * *

 

Hux still didn’t understand what Kylo saw in him, but teasing the silly boy was much more enjoyable than going through the list of things he hated about himself over and over. He relished each and every flustered reaction the scene queen had to Hux’s mere existence, coaxing out as many as he could and noting them down in his journal. Kylo really was an exquisite specimen.

While Kylo was transfixed by his eerie, icy gaze, Hux would observe all of his disproportionate loveliness, filing it away for further reflection. Hux was especially taken by the ripeness of his features set against his weak pointed jaw and short sloped forehead. It was like Kylo’s face was too small to properly house his considerable nose and huge eyes - too close together as if to keep them in place. His lips were in a league of their own; wide and lopsided, hiding a snaggletoothed grin barely confined by two rows of multicolored braces. Hux wanted one of those teeth.

Hux wanted a lot of Kylo, actually.

He wanted Kylo’s teeth and bones, to dip their ends in gold and suspend them from matching gold wire, mount them on driftwood and display them on his wall. He wanted Kylo’s skin, ruddy and taut from physical exertion - it would make a lovely pocket square for formal occasions. He wanted Kylo’s eyes, wanted to slide a knife just behind the pupil so he could wear one of those glittering amber irises like a contact lens.

Hux wanted Kylo like he’d never wanted anyone before, but he tried to convince himself that he didn’t want his heart. _Tacky and overly sentimental_ _,_ Hux would say. _I’m not a romantic serial killer, I have an appreciation for science and beauty, that’s all._

When Hux caught Kylo staring that day in the locker room, something buried deep inside his subconscious felt lucky to be admired by someone so beautiful.

 

* * *

 

Kylo was already out the door of his last class when the bell rung at the end of the day. He couldn’t face Hux after clearly getting a boner while watching him change. In his heart of hearts, Kylo knew he would still talk to Hux that night; the distance AIM and MySpace created made the concept significantly less daunting. All he had to do was have a comeback ready for the inevitable mention of his stupid, excitable dick.

Having successfully avoided Hux in the hallways, Kylo bolted home and logged onto MySpace in record time. He started to relax and eased into his nightly routine, first checking and responding to any new mail; 6 new messages, 21 new friend requests, 60 new comments, 437 new photo comments, 1 new event invitation.

Kylo stared wide-eyed at the event notification as a grin slowly stretched across his face. Kevvin Kittiee was throwing his first party of the school year… and Hux was on the invite list.

Hux. Was on the invite list. To _Kevvin Kittiee’s_ huge, crazy, balls-to-the-wall _party._

The embarrassment Kylo had been wallowing in all afternoon spit him back out with the revelation that the invite presented him. He wasn’t going to let his body’s natural reaction to Hux stop him from taking what he wanted. Let Hux see what he did to Kylo, he wouldn’t be able to resist Kylo in his final form.

This party was Kylo’s ticket into Hux’s tight black pants. All he had to do now was make sure that the object of his affections was actually going to _go._

> **xXxBeAuTyToRnApArTxXx:** HEYYYYYY sooooooz….i gots a question 4 u~~~

 

* * *

 

 

_Today has been quite revealing,_ Hux thought as he opened the door to his bedroom. A soft "mew"and the flash of a fluffy tail around Hux’s leg made Millicent’s presence known, and he knelt down to scratch behind her ears. After a few minutes of pampering Millicent with belly rubs and kisses, Hux scooped her up into his arms and deposited her temporarily onto his desk chair while he shut the door and set his satchel on the neatly-made bed.

“Millie, you wouldn’t believe what happened today,” Hux said, picking her back up and laying them both on the cool, tile floor. He hugged her to his chest and buried his face in her luxurious orange fur, sighing contentedly.

The fat fluff-ball responded with an inquisitive, “Meowr?”

“Kylo? What a smart girl you are, yes it involves Kylo. Oh Millie, he’s magnificent… truly exquisite.” Millicent swatted playfully at one of Hux’s hands, drawing blood. He laughed and grabbed her little paws, gently rubbing her paw pads. “Don’t worry my darling, not as magnificent as you. _No one_ could ever compare to you.” Millicent purred and Hux took that as a cue to continue. “You should have seen him… he stared at me the whole time I was changing into my gym uniform, but that’s not all. He actually had an _erection,_ Millie, he looked so idiotic!” At this Hux burst into a fit of wheezing cackles. “And then his stoner friend Poe started waving his arms around and shuffling in front of Kylo as if that would hide the state of his penis! It was an absolute shitshow,” Hux said, laughter dying down as he wiped tears from his eyes. “His face turned such a lovely shade of pink, I thought I would drop dead right there…”

Hux let his eyes flutter closed at the memory of Kylo’s perfect humiliation. Even better was the fact that no one else in the locker room noticed. Aside from Poe, who in his perpetually high state wouldn’t count as a witness, Kylo’s embarrassment was for Hux alone. Letting out another wistful sigh, Hux pushed himself up off the floor, slid into his desk chair, and turned on the computer.

His heart sped up a fraction of a beat at the message greeting him when his desktop loaded up. 

> **xXxBeAuTyToRnApArTxXx:** HEYYYYYY sooooooz….i gots a question 4 u~~~

Hux debated whether to bring up the incident yet or not, deciding that he’d rather let Kylo stew a bit longer. 

> **ControlledBleeding:** And what would that be?
> 
> **xXxBeAuTyToRnApArTxXx:** hav u chekd myspace yet????
> 
> **ControlledBleeding:** I have not.
> 
> **ControlledBleeding:** Did you upload another album of you debasing yourself?
> 
> **xXxBeAuTyToRnApArTxXx:** lol no but thx 4 remindig meh XDD
> 
> **xXxBeAuTyToRnApArTxXx:** kk but srsly u shud chek ur event invitez!!!
> 
> **ControlledBleeding:** Give me a moment.
> 
> **xXxBeAuTyToRnApArTxXx:** DID U C IT YET?!!!?!

Moving his mouse over the Internet Explorer icon, Hux double-clicked and let it load up MySpace, conveniently set as his browser homepage. Just as Kylo said, blinking excitedly at the bottom of his inbox were the words “New event invites!”

Apparently there was a party being hosted by one _Kevvin Kittiee,_ probably one of Kylo’s scene friends if the absurd name was anything to go by, and Hux was invited.

> **xXxBeAuTyToRnApArTxXx:** WELL???!!??!?!?!??!?!
> 
> **ControlledBleeding:** It appears we’ve been invited to a party this Friday.
> 
> **xXxBeAuTyToRnApArTxXx:** so??? R u going??!!
> 
> **ControlledBleeding:** I might consider it… if I’m not busy.
> 
> **xXxBeAuTyToRnApArTxXx:** cmon hux ur like nEVR busy :-P
> 
> **xXxBeAuTyToRnApArTxXx:** plzz? wat if sum creepy gaiz try 2 hit on meh @ teh parti???
> 
> **xXxBeAuTyToRnApArTxXx:** i’ve seen u fite u cud protect meh ;-) it’d b rly hott actualy
> 
> **ControlledBleeding:** Oh please, you speak as if you aren’t made of pure muscle.
> 
> **ControlledBleeding:** I’m sure you could hold your own against any of those pitiful, rainbow-colored twinks if they tried to do anything.
> 
> **ControlledBleeding:** Anyway, I thought you liked the attention; being pawed at by equally garish boys too horny to care how many cocks you’ve already had in your mouth.
> 
> **xXxBeAuTyToRnApArTxXx:** exxxcuuuuuuuuuuse me princess!! >:-( if ur so jealous of all thoze other gaiz u cud just say so!
> 
> **xXxBeAuTyToRnApArTxXx:** nd 4 ur INFORMATION im very picky abt who’s dicc i put in my mouth tyvm
> 
> **ControlledBleeding:** I’m sure you have very high standards.
> 
> **xXxBeAuTyToRnApArTxXx:** ya well… r u coming 2 the parti or not????????
> 
> **ControlledBleeding:** Fine. But don’t expect me to fawn over you like the rest of your perverted little friends.
> 
> _ControlledBleeding is offline._

Hux closed the instant messenger and leaned back in his chair. “Millie? Millie where are you, sweetheart?” The puffy orange ball of a cat padded over to Hux and leaped into his lap, already purring in anticipation of the petting to come.

“Guess what, darling? I’m going to a _party_ Friday night!” Millicent meowed pleasurably, more at the petting than the party invitation, but Hux didn’t need to know that. “Kylo will actually know who I am this time, how novel!”

This wasn’t the first crazy party that both Hux and Kylo had attended, but at all the others Hux had made a point to only observe Kylo. This time he could experience the party boy for real, could watch him make an absolute fool of himself up close.

Hugging his beloved Millicent, Hux asked, “You’ll help me pick out the perfect outfit, won’t you?”

Millicent just swatted at his nose.


	2. I Want Everything

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this ends kind of abruptly but whatever it gets this part of the story across *shruggu*

Friday arrived in a whirlwind of excitement and gossip. The guest list was made up primarily of scene kids and their close circles of friends, but there was talk amongst the rest of the student body of other cliques’ plans to crash the party. It was standard procedure, really. Party crashers were all part of the experience and helped to meet the expectation of a wild and potentially regrettable night.

The venue for Kevvin Kittiee’s party was an unassuming little house not too far from Hux’s. It was set a ways back from the road at the top of a hill, with a long dirt path flanked by trees as its driveway; an ideal spot that wouldn’t draw the attention of any cops.

Kevvin’s house looked like it had seen a handful of parties in the past. The white siding needed a good power-wash and the front and back decks had loose boards that would spring up and hit one in the shin if they weren’t careful. Past the dangerous deck was a pool where fallen leaves floated lazily and clumped up against the sides, clogging the filters. Aside from the leaves, the pool was relatively clean, though not incredibly inviting since the chill of autumn had already arrived.

The inside of the house was in worse shape than the outside, with stains covering the shaggy carpet and faded wallpaper peeling in wide strips. The windows looked like they had been recently replaced, but the blinds were either bent out of shape or missing altogether. Each room had once had its own distinct color scheme - brown and orange living room, green foyer and hallways, yellow kitchen, plum bathroom, and so on - but overtime seemed to all take on a similar dull cast, only enhanced by the dim yellow bulbs screwed into the sparse selection of light fixtures. As one might expect, the couches and chairs were well-worn with a few rips and tears where they endured the most butt traffic.

All in all, it was a pretty typical party house and any guests who might be put off by its state of disrepair would soon be more occupied with alcohol, weed, and sexual tension.

Hux strode into the party fifteen minutes past its designated starting time. He didn’t care to be among the very first of the guests, but events such as these provided a wealth of potential test subjects who were only too happy to follow a fetching ginger into the nearest closet. Hux wanted to make the most of the time he had before Kylo showed up.

The house was already beginning to fill up so Hux grabbed a beer and began to cruise around, scoping out any individuals who looked especially _promising_ _._ It didn’t take long before he felt the skeevy slide of an arm around his tiny waist.

“Is it Kiss a Ginger Day? Because I’d like to put my lips all over _you._ ”

And so the beginning of the night continued in such a fashion. Hux would be propositioned and, after determining the potential quality of the specimen, would lead them to a more secluded spot to avoid prying eyes. Hux reaped no sexual pleasure from these encounters, but that wasn’t what he was after anyway.

One reason for Hux’s experiments was the pursuit of understanding “normal” sexuality; the other was simply fueled by Hux’s curiosity about the human body. He wanted to collect every unique response that his partners gave, to compare all of his discoveries with their own to see how much variety of perception there could be.

Currently Hux found himself in a broom closet with his hand between a girl’s legs, but the only discovery he had made so far was that she wasn’t very cooperative.

 

* * *

 

Kylo traditionally arrived to parties about an hour late, around the time when the music was picking up and the alcohol had started to set in. He loved making a grand entrance, lived for bursting through the door to the sound of his peers adoringly shouting his name.

His entrance on this particular night was no less grand, possibly even grander than usual because of the look he lovingly coordinated for the event. He wore his hair in its usual style which only served to highlight his dramatic eye makeup - heavily lined in red with one eye blooming a glittery bruise of purples, blues, and greens. His lips were painted blue and lightened in color as they neared the center of his mouth; dripping from one corner was a viscous line of fake blood. Kylo’s ensemble was uncharacteristically monochrome, consisting of a tight white t-shirt, white skinny jeans, and a pair of white Creepers. Emblazoned on the shirt was a realistically rendered ribcage with internal organs which he augmented with smears of fake blood. His pants and shoes received a similar treatment, with a series of false lacerations and blood splatter, respectively.

Leia had nearly had a stroke when she saw Kylo leave for the party and he smiled fondly at the memory as he made his way past the first throng of party-goers to the table of drinks.

Itching to catch up to the level of everyone else, Kylo grabbed a can of strawberry lemonade Four Loko and pounded it down within the span of ten minutes, the last five of which he spent trying to find whoever had the weed.

The generous guest sharing his stash was situated in a dirty beach chair next to the pool, decked out in the best tropical finery that a souvenier shop could provide. He was probably one of the local dealers if his lack of scene “edge” was any indication.

Once Kylo had scored his complimentary joint, he wove his way back through the horde toward the sliding screen that connected the back deck to the kitchen. Kylo stopped in front of the drink table again, savoring the warmth curling in his chest from the alcohol and the tendrils of relaxation he knew the weed would wrap his brain in soon enough.

Dislodging a can of beer from a bucket of ice under the table, Kylo scanned the crowd for Hux. He hadn’t seen him yet and started to worry he wouldn’t show. _It figures_ _,_ Kylo thought. _I spend like three hours getting ready to impress him and he doesn’t even come…_

Before Kylo could console himself with the thought that at least he had Four Loko to keep him company, the door of the pantry at the other end of the kitchen slid open loudly, startling a group of girls taking high-angle selfies. The girls stumbled in their high heels as the occupants of the pantry emerged. The first Kylo recognized as Graveyard Gavin, one of the newer boys to the scene community. Gavin had yet to fully transform into the scene butterfly he desperately wished to be; his jeans weren’t tight enough, his hair didn’t have enough volume, and his Metallica shirt rendered his attempts at capturing the scene style null and void. Kylo took a moment to pray for him, simultaneously taking in his bewildered face and unzipped pants.

The second pantry-dweller sauntered out with significantly more poise and Kylo’s breath caught in his throat when he recognized the ginger hair he adored so much.

Hux was a sight to behold in the dingy, crowded kitchen. While one of Hux’s elegant hands busied itself with adjusting his pants, the other lazily wiped itself across his reddened lips. He was a vision of debauched opulence, like a prince shamelessly flaunting his romantic exploits for all the kingdom to see.

“Jesus _Christ,_ fuck _me…”_

“What?! Did you say something?!” asked a shrill voice beside Kylo.

Kylo looked down, confused. The source of the shriek was a short girl with hair about half her height and a huge bow balanced precariously atop it. “I uh… I don’t think so?”

“Yes you did, you said something about fucking Jesus Christ! That’s fucking weird LOL!” The last bit she didn’t spell out, but rather pronounced as “loll.”

“Shit, must of been this _dank-ass bud_ makin’ me wanna fuck Jesus, huh?! Am I right?!” Kylo laughed nervously and slipped away from the girl while she whooped with a few others in praise of the bud. He couldn’t see Hux around anywhere and cursed the sentient tower of hair for distracting him. He had to muscle his way into the living room, awkwardly shoving past a couple making out and their friend who was taking photos of them from seemingly every possible angle.

Kylo stumbled into a narrow hallway connecting to what looked like a laundry room. The room was separated from the hallway with a half-wall and was currently unoccupied, providing a perfect spot to scope out most of the living room uninterrupted. From his vantage point, Kylo was able to spot Hux and take the time to _appreciate_ the view without swarms of people bumping into him. He didn’t mind crowds usually, but Hux took absolute priority that night.

Hux lounged regally in one of the ugly, floral couches, gazing out at nothing while blowing out a steady stream of cigarette smoke that circled his head like a halo. His face was flushed a handsome shade of peach from the combination of alcohol and heat.

Kylo took a shaky sip from his beer to settle himself before resuming his observations.

The button-down shirt Hux wore was an inky, iridescent black and featured a placket with hidden buttons and semi-sheer sleeves which puffed gently as they tucked into their cuffs. A thin braided belt with a delicate gold buckle snaked through the loops of his emerald breeches, emphasizing his slight build. The breeches were like those one would wear horseback riding and they disappeared seamlessly into a pair of equally equestrian riding boots.

Suddenly the hand of a boy Kylo didn’t recognize slithered its way up one of Hux’s thighs and Kylo felt a rush of possessive anger bubble up in his chest. He was about to stomp over and steal Hux away for himself when he remembered the staggering and uncomfortable form of Graveyard Gavin…

Gavin had come out of the pantry and so had… _Hux. Fuck!_

Kylo chugged the rest of his beer, room temperature by this point, and went in search of Gavin. After a little bit of asking around, he found his target sitting on the staircase, nursing a nasty-looking mixed drink. Shooing the other people off the stairs, Kylo plopped down heavily next to Gavin and swiped the neglected drink from his hand. “Hey, Gavin.”

Gavin wasn’t bothered by Kylo taking his drink and even thanked him like he was relieved of some horrible burden. “Oh heyyy Kylo… W-what’s going on, dude? I love your makeup, you look like one of the - the - hic! - club kids… or whatever they were called. You know, that gay dude who killed a drug dealer and then had these weird, like, blood… parties…”

“I don’t know what the _fuck_ you’re talking about, but can I ask you something?” Gavin blinked his glassy eyes and nodded. “Alright, you see that guy over there in the really tight green pants?” Kylo pointed through the bars of the railing toward Hux.

_“Oh god,”_ Gavin groaned, covering his face in his hands.

“What were you and him doing in the pantry earlier?” It was forward, but Kylo didn’t have time to waste. He wasn’t going to let another guy get ahold of Hux if he had anything to say about it.

Gavin groaned again and took a deep breath. “Do I really have to talk about this _again?”_

“I guess so, yeah, ‘cause I’m not gonna leave you alone until you spill it.” Gavin grimaced like he was going to vomit, but soon relented.

“We uh… well, I went up to him and was like…” 

 

> “Hey, you want to give me a blow job?” Gavin had cornered Hux near the stove, nearly turning on a burner when he leaned into him. Hux snorted and threw back his shot.
> 
> “Only if you play by my rules.”
> 
> Once they squeezed themselves into the pantry, Gavin made quick work of his jeans and boxers, shoving them down roughly until they pooled at his ankles. Hux gave Gavin’s dick a withering look and gracefully knelt on the floor between his legs. He proceeded to ask Gavin a slew of decidedly un-sexy questions, noting his answers in a small journal he pulled out of his back pocket. From the other pocket he retrieved a soft tape measure and began to take measurements of whatever he felt compelled to, once again jotting down his findings in the little journal.
> 
> Gavin impatiently shifted from foot to foot and asked, “So uh, are you gonna suck my dick or not?” Hux shoved the sharp point of his pencil threateningly close to Gavin’s penis.
> 
> “What did I say about playing by my rules?” Gavin gulped and stopped fidgeting. “Better. Now, I’m going to need you to vocalize your observations during this, alright?” Nodding, Gavin tried to relax as Hux started. After a few minutes of absolutely no observations, Hux smacked Gavin on the leg and pulled off. “Are you deaf, blind, and paralyzed? You haven’t said a thing of value since we started, and _no,_ ‘Oh fuck baby, just like that’ _doesn’t_ count.” Hux continued to glare until he got a response.
> 
> “Okay, okay, sorry, um… I’ll try to remember this time.” Hux resumed his work, but pulled off again when he felt a hand pushing him down. This earned Gavin’s leg another smack.
> 
> “Don’t touch me, you clod! Stay on task. You’re an awful scientist.”
> 
> The Awful Scientist squeezed his eyes shut in frustration. “Sorry, sorry!” Once again, Hux returned to the task at hand - or at mouth. “God, okay um… uhhh - _fuck_ \- your mouth… it’s really hot? And wet?” Hux sneered up at Gavin, daring him to say one more useless thing. “Shit, I-I’m gonna - hey, what the fuck?!”
> 
> Hux stood up, pocketing his journal, pencil, and tape measure. “Finish yourself. You’re of no use to me.” Gavin just stood there. _“Well?_ Go on, you were ready to go, weren’t you?” Still no response. Hux raised his brows and rolled his eyes in disbelief. “Suit yourself.”
> 
> After yanking up Gavin’s boxers and pants for him, Hux pushed him towards the door of the pantry, where he stumbled out into the crowd…

“... and that’s what happened. It was _horrible,_ man, don’t bother trying anything with him. It’ll only end in disappointment and shame…”

Kylo emptied the rest of Gavin’s cup and placed it back in his hand, then gave him a reassuring pat on the shoulder as he stood up. “Thanks for your candor, bro.”

 

* * *

 

Hux grew increasingly tired of the boy sitting next to him. He had been kneading Hux’s thigh for upwards of fifteen minutes and wouldn’t stop talking about his shitty band, saying how Hux would make a great groupie. After that proposition, Hux zoned out completely. He wanted to see Kylo, not this sorry sack of meat. Relief washed over him when Kylo stormed into the living room.

Kylo looked like a slutty angel, beaten for his transgressions against God. He really was beautiful.

Hux’s angel grabbed his hand and pulled him off the couch, knocking the meat sack down in the process. Hux was absolutely giddy, even as Kylo dragged him into the house’s laundry room and shoved him against the washing machine.

“Hi, Kylo,” Hux purred and flashed the most charming grin he could. “You look lovely, _like you got run over by a truck.”_

“And you look like a hypocrite. I saw you come out of the pantry with that _idiot_ Graveyard Gavin. Wanna tell me what that was all about?” Kylo’s mask of fury wasn’t enough to hide the wetness in his eyes.

“Was _that_ his name? No wonder he was such a poor test subject.” Hux choked out one of his little tittering laughs as Kylo pushed him harder against the ancient appliance. In a flash his expression shifted to one of contempt. “I’m not _your boyfriend,_ Kylo. Just because you’re infatuated with me doesn’t mean you have the right to interrogate me about what I do in pantries with people _other than you.”_ He cupped a hand against Kylo’s cheek and watched him deflate. Lowering his voice to a whisper, Hux stated more than asked, “You’re jealous, aren’t you?”

Kylo turned away abruptly and Hux could feel the warm slide of a tear on his hand. “You always call me a slut when I don’t even do anything with anyone, but you’re allowed to do… _whatever_ with whoever you want… it’s not fair.” Kylo’s flushed cheeks puffed out in indignation.

Hux felt an unfamiliar pang of guilt and found himself slipping out of his alcohol-induced confidence. The hand he held to Kylo’s cheek began to shake. “I… I called you those things b-because I thought you enjoyed it. Do you not like it?” Hux tried to school his face into something resembling calm remorse, but he couldn’t stop the twitch of his eye and mouth.

“No, no! I-I do like it when you tease me…” Kylo’s cheeks continued to redden at his admission. “I like it _a lot,_ actually. I just… I guess I’ve just never seen you _with_ someone before, you know?”

“Hmmm,” Hux hummed, still not quite understanding why Kylo was so upset. He understood the concept of jealousy, but he wasn’t with Gavin or anyone else for romance. What could Kylo be jealous about if Hux was not getting that from his encounters?

“If it makes you feel better, I’ve only engaged in sexual behavior to gather information for research purposes.” Hux left out the part about how he desperately wanted to understand sex, how he desperately wanted to be normal.

Kylo looked up at him through his long, dark eyelashes. “I know.”

“Y-you know?” Now Hux was _really_ confused.

“Yeah, I mean Gavin told me about how you were asking him weird questions and taking measurements and stuff.”

“If you knew, then why were you jealous? I didn’t think you wanted me to _experiment_ on you -”

Kylo surged forward and pressed his lips to Hux’s neck. _“Right now that’s all I want.”_

Hux’s body stilled while his heart tried to beat out of his chest. For the first time in his life Hux felt like he was wanted for what he was, not what he would be once he was “fixed.”

“The things I want to do to you are not… normal.”

“I don’t care.”

“I’ll hurt you.” Hux was slowly becoming a fidgety, twitchy mess.

“Look at me, Hux,” Kylo said, leaning back and gesturing to his bloody ensemble. “Do I look like I’m scared of a little pain?”

“This kind is-isn’t sexy. This kind is… foul. Reprehensible. You d-don’t know the extent of - of w-what I want.” Hux felt like the room was spinning, dizzy with fear and want and guilt.

“What _do_ you want?”

“Everything.”

“Then that’s what you’ll get,” Kylo mumbled into Hux’s trembling lips, staining them blue like an ominous kiss of death.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and then they made out 4 like 5ever


	3. 'Til Monday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just a quick warning, in this chapter there are two uses of a homophobic slur, mentions of some of the grotesque items in hux's room, and mentions of self-harm  
> mostly tho it's just hux being tsundere

The party passed Kylo and Hux by, unnoticed, as they feverishly explored each other’s mouths in the dark laundry room. It was awkward kissing Hux. He didn’t shy away from Kylo’s lips, but his face twitched and spasmed more than usual, making it hard to aim.

Not that Kylo minded - he wouldn’t have it any other way. Only Hux could made his heart race the way it did now, with his rapid blinking and trembling hands, his irregular breathing and whispered reverence of very particular parts of Kylo that no one else would ever find romantic.

“Your teeth,” Hux said, pulling back from Kylo’s mouth. He ran a finger just below the neon braces that strained to realign Kylo’s incisors. “Wish I could see them without all the hardware.”

Kylo raised a quizzical brow and asked, “Why would you wanna see my snaggleteeth?”

Hux kissed him again, avoiding the question. He pressed Kylo to the floor and with eyes fluttering closed, began to bite and suck small bruises down Kylo’s neck. “Your sternocleidomastoid is so well developed…”

“My - _ah!_ \- my what?”

“This,” Hux said as he trailed kisses up the muscle and back to Kylo’s mouth. “If only I could peel it back, reach your scalenus muscles… pull them taut and then go deeper…”

Kylo inhaled sharply. “I don’t know _what_ the fuck you’re talking about, but it sounds really hot. I want that, Hux. Want you deeper -”

_“Oof!_ Goddammit, what…”

The pair froze at the sudden voice and the _fwump_ of laundry being knocked to the floor. Squinting, Kylo managed to make out the silhouette of regular fit jeans ( _ew_ ) and recognized the intruder as Gavin. _Ugh, just great,_ Kylo thought. _Hux was just starting to talk dirty, too… at least I think…_

Muffled by a shirt that had fallen over his face, Gavin slurred, “Hey, Kevvin uhh, Kevvin says the party’s over. Sent me lookin’ for - for - uh, hold up.” Gavin finally wrangled the shirt away with significantly more effort than required. “Sent me lookin’ for stragglers, so you guys gotta…” He paused to squint back at Hux and Kylo, still frozen in their compromising positions. “Aw _FUCK_ man, really?! _Really?!”_

Hux wrinkled his nose and sneered up at Gavin. Kylo could tell he was revving up for a snarky remark, but Gavin cut him off before he could even begin. “You leave _this_ package,” he punctuated this by grabbing his crotch, “for that faggot? You’ve gotta be kidding me.” Kylo frowned a little at the slur, more in confusion than offense.

“This _faggot,”_ Hux spat, “is a much more capable scientist than _you.”_ To illustrate his point, Hux yanked Kylo’s hand up to his mouth and dragged his tongue along the skin between Kylo’s thumb and forefinger, keeping his eyes locked on Gavin the whole time. He bit down, eliciting a small gasp from Kylo then asked, “What did that feel like?”

“Um, it tickled… and then felt like a pinch. A good pinch. Like when you did that to my, uh, my ster-na-kaleido-ma-scope?”

Hux smiled fondly at Kylo and stroked his cheek. “Close, it’s pronounced sterno-cleido-mastoid, but I’m very proud of you, Kylo. Very, very good.”

Kylo eked out a stilted, “Heh!” in response, too flustered by the praise to manage anything else.

Turning back to Gavin, Hux smirked and asked, “Well? Are you going to let us leave or do you plan on seeing us out the door?”

Gavin just huffed and stomped down the hall, throwing back a belated, “Fucking weirdos” in their general direction.

Once Gavin was out of sight, Hux sighed and leaned back against the washing machine, squeezing his eyes shut to stave off an oncoming headache. “Kylo.” No answer. “Kylo.” Still nothing. Hux opened his eyes to see Kylo still laying on the floor. “Kylo, let’s… let’s go home together.”

Kylo shot up, instantly revived. “What, really?!”

The softest hint of pink stained Hux’s cheeks and his eyes darted away. “Not like that, you fool! I just meant… we should go. Since the party’s over.” Standing up abruptly and stiffening his posture, Hux added, “I only worded it like that to get your attention. Come on...”

Kylo took the hand Hux proffered to him with a pout and let Hux lead him out of the house.

Stepping out of the heat of the house, Kylo took a deep breath, relishing the freshness of the crisp October air. From the emptiness of the driveway it seemed that they were the last to leave, with only the rustle of the trees overhead and the distant sounds of Kevvin tossing empty cans into a trash bag to keep them company. As they neared the end of the driveway, Kylo stopped to look around. “Where… where’s your car?”

“What?”

“Your car. Didn’t you drive here?”

Hux furrowed his brow, perplexed. “No, didn’t you?”

Kylo kicked at the ground sheepishly. “No, I, uh… I rode with some friends and I guess I thought that you might… that you might take me home.”

“That was rather presumptuous of you.”

Kylo let out a nervous chuckle. “S-sorry…”

Running a hand through his hair, Hux sighed and grumbled, “I suppose we’ll be going home together after all.” Kylo’s eyes brightened at that. “Don’t get any funny ideas, Kylo. I just live nearby and would prefer not to drive you home under the influence.”

“Hee hee hee, _suuure_ Hux. Whatever you say. Though I do appreciate your concern for my safety.” Kylo draped himself over Hux and sighed wistfully. “My hero!”

“Eugh!” Hux shoved Kylo with his shoulder. “Don’t make me change my mind.”

Their walk to Hux’s home was surprisingly quiet, each boy lost in thought. Kylo’s mind felt warm and fuzzy as he replayed the way Hux kissed him and stood up for him when Gavin had interrupted. _Hux is taking me to his house. His house!_

Hux’s thoughts were decidedly more chaotic; a jumble of undefined positives and negatives fighting for purchase with only one common thread running beneath them - _I’m still holding his hand I’m still holding his hand I’mstillholdinghishand._

Kylo’s voice knocked Hux out of his head and into the present. “Hux, I’m cooold, and your hand is really sweaty!”

_“Cold?_ It’s only forty-five degrees,” Hux said, taking the opportunity to let go of Kylo’s hand.

“That’s only like, thirteen degrees above freezing! Jeez, are you going through menopause or something?”

Hux scoffed and crossed his arms. It was too late - early? - for him to have to deal with this. “No, you idiot. I just get hot easily…”

“I already knew that.”

“Knew what?”

Kylo grinned lasciviously. “That you’re always _hot.”_

“Ugh, you’re lucky we’re already here or I would leave you to walk all the way back home.”

Kylo ignored the threat, too busy admiring the house in front of them. _“This_ is _your_ house?”

“Yes. This is _my_ house. There’s no need for condescension.”

“No I didn’t… I didn’t mean to say it like that, I just…” Kylo paused to take it all in. “I’ve passed this house so many times on the way to Kevvin’s parties. I didn’t know this was where you lived. It’s really cool!”

Hux’s face twitched. “Oh. Well. Thank you, I suppose.” Ascending the stone steps that led to the front door, Hux waved for Kylo to follow.

The boys made their way through the front sitting room and kitchen, then took a left to quietly climb the stairs to the second floor of the house. Kylo twisted his head this way and that, trying to commit to memory everything this special visit to Hux’s house had to offer. The mysterious boy who used to have no name was now guiding Kylo through his most personal space - past logwood walls and stone floors, streamlined furniture and subtle contemporary art that brought to mind Frank Lloyd Wright’s _Fallingwater._ The house felt like it was a part of the woods the way it sat hidden amongst the tall pines and smooth beeches, even more so when one was inside and could look out the floor-to-ceiling windows.

Kylo’s heart beat with excitement when Hux opened the door to his room. _His room!_

“I’m just going to - to change into my pajamas and brush my teeth. You can sit at my desk or, um, stand up… if you prefer. I’ll only be a minute…” Hux ducked into the bathroom at the far end of his room, immediately chastising himself for how stupid he must have just sounded.

While Hux performed his evening routine, Kylo wandered around the room, inspecting every little thing he could see. The first thing he noticed was just how _empty_ the center of the room was. The rest of the house seemed to take a similar minimalist approach to decorating, but spaced its furniture in a traditional way. In Hux’s room the bed, desk, bookshelf, nightstand, and so on all clung to the walls and windows, leaving a large expanse of dark green marbled tile uncovered. _Maybe he does his dissections here…_

Along the walls were shelves upon shelves of bones, antique medical equipment, and glass jars containing preserved animal organs. Every item was neatly labeled as if it were part of an exhibit. Besides the shelves, Hux had also hung up a handful of pinned displays - most of them featured different species of bugs, but one had a preserved frog with its stomach cut open and pinned back to reveal its internal organs. On Hux’s desk sat some kind of bizarre taxidermy experiment. The main body appeared to be that of a fox with some of its skin removed to show off a few choice muscle groups. Its hind legs had been replaced with those of a rabbit and instead of a single head, it had three - a tortoise, a squirrel, and a sparrow.

Before he had time to inspect anything else, Kylo felt a soft tickle against his hand. When he looked down, he had to suppress a squeak of joy at the sight of a fat, fluffy, ginger cat with a smooshy face and crazed, green eyes. “Oh my god, you’re so cute! Are you Hux’s?” He got a grumpy scratch and a garbly "mrow" in response. “Ha ha, sorry sorry! I guess it’s the other way around, huh? Hux is yours.” Kylo giggled when he got a purr instead of a scratch.

_Hux is kind of like you, isn’t he?_ Kylo thought while he pet Millicent. _Maybe_ _I have to become his instead of trying to make him mine…_

“What are you doing?”

Kylo smiled up at Hux leaning against the doorframe. “I didn’t know you had a cat! What’s its name?”

Hux strode over to where Kylo was sitting and plucked Millicent off the floor, cradling her in his arms. _“Her name_ is Millicent and she is the love of my life,” Hux huffed, burying his face in her fur.

“That sounds like a name for a princess, but I guess it’s fitting. It looks like you spoil her,” Kylo teased.

“Hmpf!” Hux turned around to carry Millicent to her tower. “Back to bed, my darling. I’m sorry for all the disruption. Kylo, you can sleep in one of my brothers’ rooms. I’ll -” Hux narrowed his eyes at Kylo who had seen fit to make himself comfortable in Hux’s bed. “Get out of there, we’re not having a slumber party.”

Kylo pulled the comforter up to his chin and pouted. “But Huuux, I’m already so cozy!”

“You’re taking up more than half the bed, you big buffoon.”

“I’ll sleep on my side! Look, see? There’s way more space now. Or we could snuggle…”

“Absolutely not!” After a moment of awkward silence, Hux pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed in defeat. He was too tired for this. Stomping over to the bed, he switched the lights off and pushed Kylo as far to the other side of the mattress as possible. “You will stay on that side, do you understand?” Kylo nodded, wide-eyed. “And don’t you dare try to - to -”

“Snuggle?” Kylo offered.

“Yes, that. Don’t do that.” Hux yanked back some of the blanket Kylo was hogging and flipped onto his side, _away from the huge child in my bed._

“Or _what?”_

“Or you’ll end up in one of those jars on my shelves.”

Kylo gulped and settled in, truly doing his best not to ruin what was to him one of the greatest privileges of all - sharing a bed with the boy of his dreams. A sudden and intense heat ran through the entirety of his body as the events of the night sunk in. Hux kissed him. Hux probably gave him a hickey. Hux defended him. Hux held his hand. Hux held his hand for a _long time._ Hux introduced him to his cat. And now he was sleeping next to Hux in Hux’s _bed_ in Hux’s _house._ If he were a cartoon character, Kylo would have had steam coming out of his ears.

“Hux?!”

_“What?”_ Hux seethed.

“We made out at the party… like, a lot. Does that mean we’re dating?”

Hux seemed to curl in upon himself. “No. Shut up and go to sleep.” 

 

* * *

 

Kylo didn’t go to sleep. He couldn’t, not when he had the opportunity to admire Hux up close and for significantly longer than usual. Granted, most of the night he could only see the back of his head, but it was enough for a while. Eventually Hux rolled onto his other side, thankfully still asleep.

Kylo felt his breath catch at how Hux seemed to glow in the moonlight. Hux also apparently twitched in his sleep, which just endeared him to Kylo more. The quick, flitting spasms reminded Kylo of the little sparrows that would sometimes show up on his balcony, hopping about and chirping as they collected the remnants of snacks he had eaten there.

Grumbling a little in his sleep, Hux shifted his arm out from under the pillow, hand now directly in Kylo’s line of sight. It took all of Kylo’s strength not to reach out and twine their fingers together. Holding his own hands to his chest, Kylo contented himself with just observing.

For someone so elegant, Hux’s hands were rather beat up - nails dirty underneath their bitten-short edges, cuticles frayed, knuckles red with the evidence of scabs having been picked off. Scarred palms.

_Why did Hux have scarred palms?_

Not just palms, wrists too. The entire visible length of Hux’s arm was covered in pale, slightly raised reminders of… of what?

Kylo was taken over by an overwhelming sadness at the thought of Hux self-harming. It had only been a few years since Kylo had stopped cutting and he hoped against hope that the scars were from Millicent or dissection accidents or too many reckless adventures in the woods. Anything but what they appeared to be.

After a lengthy deliberation, Kylo came to the conclusion that no, he had nothing to worry about. Unlike Kylo, Hux never made any attempt to hide the scars beneath bracelets or long sleeves. He also wasn’t the type to seek attention by showing them off. And anyway, some of them were such odd shapes there was no way they could be made with a razor. Even if they _were_ the result of self-harm, that had to have been in the past. The Hux now would never do that to himself. He was too strong, too proud...

Wasn’t he?

 

* * *

 

The first thing Hux saw when he woke up was Kylo’s face just inches away, staring at him. “Agh!”

“Wow, good morning to you too,” Kylo said as Hux shot up out of the bed and hurried to his dresser. While Hux rifled around for clothes Kylo asked, “What the heck are you wearing?”

Hux jerked his head back to glare at Kylo. “What do you mean _what am I wearing?_ This is what I slept in last night.” Hux let his gaze fall down to his pajamas, trying to ascertain what was so shocking about them. Navy blue t-shirt tucked into soft cotton shorts, a pair of socks… there was nothing wrong with that.

Kylo stifled a snicker. “Do you tuck in _all_ your shirts? I don’t think I’ve ever seen you with your shirt untucked, not even in gym class.”

“Yes, I suppose I do, not that it’s any of _your_ business. What, does it embarrass you? You’re certainly in no position to question my taste in clothing when _you_ look like you just rolled into the morgue.”

Kylo looked up at Hux with big puppy-dog eyes. “Last night you said I looked lovely…”

“I also said you looked like you got hit by a truck.” Hux turned back to the dresser, pulling out a pair of brown jodhpurs and a pine green turtleneck.

“But you liked it.” Kylo watched Hux get dressed with rapt attention.

“That’s not the point I’m trying to make.”

“But that’s the point _I’m_ trying to make. Just because you dress weird doesn’t mean it isn’t hot.”

With the turtleneck tucked neatly into his jodhpurs, Hux grabbed a pair of tall field boots and sat at his desk to lace them up - the brown leather and green suede coordinated perfectly with the rest of his outfit. Topping off the look with a smart tweed shooting jacket and a pair of brown leather gloves, Hux turned back to Kylo and unknowingly took his breath away once again. “To be quite honest I’ve forgotten what we’re even arguing about… Have you seen my glasses?”

“Uh,” Kylo shifted around to check the nightstand beside him. Sure enough, there they were. Kylo held them out for Hux, too comfortable to leave the bed just yet. “Found ‘em. Are you going somewhere?”

“I often accompany my family on their Saturday hunting trip…”

From downstairs came the bellowing voice of Hux’s father, “Brendon? If you’re joining us I expect you to be out front within five minutes!”

“...which I will be late for if I don’t hurry up.” Hux opened the door a crack and yelled down, “Yes, father! I’ll be right down!” Shutting the door again, Hux strode over to the bed and finally took the glasses from Kylo’s hand. “I suggest you wait until our car is gone to make your escape. Do you have a way of getting home?”

_Escape? What am I escaping from?_   “Yeah, I can call someone to pick me up.”

“Good. Don’t go out the front door. There’s a sliding door in the back, so use that.”

“You’re making it sound like this is a dire situation, man! Chill.”

Hux went silent for a moment, squeezing his eyes shut then blinking rapidly as if Kylo were a high wattage bulb. “I - I’m sorry. I feel very strange. I would just prefer if… if there weren’t obvious signs of you being here…”

Kylo sighed with relief. The way Hux was talking made it sound like there was a monster waiting for Kylo once everyone else had left the house. He gave Hux a reassuring smile and said, “It’s cool, man. I understand! Don’t want the fam knowing you had some _cute boy_ in your room last night, huh?”

Hux snorted and looked away, mouth drawn up in a tight smile. “Ha. Something like that.”

Before Hux could reach the door, Kylo called out, “Hux! Thank you for letting me stay.”

“Hm. Goodbye, Kylo. ‘Til Monday.”


	4. Away From Keyboard

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo finds something wonderful in Hux's room and shows it to his friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this took so long to write........so many people.....to keep track of.....

At the sound of the bedroom door closing Kylo flopped back down onto Hux’s bed, tangling himself in the sheets and hugging Hux’s pillow close. He wanted to stay there all day, wrapped in the blankets that smelled of sterile chemicals and generic shampoo, replaying the quiet moment just before Hux left when he had said, “‘til monday” like some kind of proper gentleman in an old-timey romance. Kylo really would have stayed in that bed all day if it weren’t for the urgency of his departure.

“Mrooow!”

Kylo rolled onto his side to see Millicent pacing back and forth by the bed, whining and looking rather perturbed. “What’s up Millie? What’s wrong?”

_“Mrooow!”_ This one sounded more like a gargle than any sound a cat would make.

“Oh my god, _whaaat?_ I only know what “Nya” and “Rawr” mean, give me a break!” Grudgingly pulling himself free of the nest of sheets, Kylo stood up and let Millicent guide him to whatever was troubling her. She sat primly next to her empty food bowl and let out another string of agitated gurgles until Kylo got the hint and started looking for something to fill it with.

There was a small fridge in the corner of the room that Kylo hadn’t noticed the night before. He opened it to find a tower of cans of wet cat food, organized by brand and flavor and all turned _just so_ so that all the labels lined up perfectly. Someone like Hux found that level of precision comforting; Kylo just felt unsettled. Taking care not to disrupt the orderly towers, Kylo plucked a can of Fancy Feast from the fridge and set to feeding Millicent.

“You know, you could probably go a few days without food and be totally fine. Hux spoils you.”

Millicent responded with an indignant, “Mow!”

“Yeah well, you’re right about that. I guess I am a little jealous.” Plenty of food now in the bowl, Kylo took the empty can into the room’s attached bathroom and rinsed it out in the sink. _Because Hux would do that,_ Kylo thought.

Kylo exited the bathroom and placed the clean can on top of the fridge, then sat cross-legged on the floor. The quiet little smacks Millicent made as she ate were rather relaxing and he found himself daydreaming about Hux’s nimble hands going through the routine of feeding his beloved cat. Then of those same hands tucking in a shirt or lacing up a boot, expertly buttoning a jacket with grace despite the tremble in those long fingers. Dexterous hands untucking and unlacing and unbuttoning until all that was left was -

The warm and gentle rumble of Millicent purring against him jolted Kylo out of his daze. “Now that you’re satisfied I guess I gotta get going, huh?” Kylo dug his Sidekick out of his pocket and dialed Finn’s number.

Finn picked up after the second ring. “Hey man, you’re up early. Did you not go to that party last night?”

“I went, just uh… didn’t fall asleep at all,” Kylo said, laughing sheepishly. “You wanna hang out today?”

“Sure, if you can stay awake. I was planning on going to Poe’s today if that’s cool with you. He’s gotta watch BiBi. I think Rey’s coming over too.”

Kylo smiled, already chomping at the bit to tell his friends about the party and the events that followed. “Yeah dude, rad! Um, do you think you could give me a ride? I kinda… spent the night at someone’s house and -”

“YOU _DIDN’T!”_

“I did, it’s true,” Kylo said a little smugly. “I’ll tell you guys all about it later, but could you just come get me? I don’t think I’m supposed to be hanging around here for much longer.”

“Yeah, yeah, I’ll get you. Oh man, Rey is gonna _flip,_ dude! I can’t believe this, you _casanova,_ you!”

“Oh my god, shut _uuup!_ Just hurry, will you?!” Kylo rattled off the address and hung up, sliding his phone back into his pocket. It would take Finn at least fifteen minutes to get to the house, so Kylo took it upon himself to try to make the bed just to have something to do. Well, also because he thought Hux would be pleased. _Feeding Millicent, rinsing a can, making the bed… since when did I get so damn domestic?_

The bed still looked a little lumpy, but it would have to do. Kylo slipped on his shoes and gave Millicent one last pat on the way to the door when something caught his eye. In his haste Hux must not have closed one of his dresser drawers all the way because poking out of the drawer was an envelope from the Sears Portrait Studio. That sounded like the last place Hux would ever go to get photos taken, given his propensity for… _darker_ subject matter.

Against his better judgement, Kylo gingerly pulled out the envelope. It was already opened so he reached inside and pulled out one of many wallet-sized prints. He couldn’t help the grin that spread across his face when he looked at the photo - it featured Hux with an impossibly joyous expression clutching Millicent to his chest. Both of their eyes were wide open and crazed. It had all the trappings of a cheesy photo studio portrait, too - a velvety backdrop, hazy lighting, and gratuitous sparkle.

Kylo thought it was the most wonderful picture he had ever seen.

He might have even tucked it into his back pocket before putting the envelope back in the drawer and exiting the house, but that was only for him to know.

* * *

 

Kylo had been fiddling with his phone when Finn pulled up to the front of the house. Finn rolled down the passenger-side window and called out, “‘Sup Kylo, you look like you got run over by a truck!”

“You’re the second person to say that to me. _I_ was under the impression that I looked really hot,” Kylo said, knees cracking as he got up from his spot on the curb.

Finn grimaced at the sound of Kylo’s joints. “Whoa, careful there, grandpa! You sure you don’t want me to drive you back home?”

Kylo yanked the car door open and slid in, bouncing a bit on the bloated leather seat before slamming the door shut. “Shut up, _mom,_ I’m fine.”

“Whatever you say, man.” Finn shook his head and laughed, reaching into the console between the seats to pull out a zippered CD organizer. He flipped through the sleeves until he found an orange disc labelled _HOT TRAXXX 4 MY BOO._ Kylo looked at the disc with wide eyes and clenched teeth, then glanced up at Finn as if to ask, “What the fuck is that?” Finn gave him a sheepish grin and let the CD player devour the disc. “Poe gave this to me, like, a _month_ ago and I _still_ haven’t listened to any of it yet… I need to give him at least _some_ feedback so he’ll stop _asking_ me about it!”

The dulcet tones of Ying Yang Twins’ _Whisper Song_ flooded through the speakers as Finn began the drive to Poe’s house. By the end of the chorus, he had completely turned off the sound system. He cleared his throat and muttered, “He can wait another month for my review, no big deal, it’s cool… So, uh, who did you spend the night with?”

Kylo’s expression managed to be both wistful and lecherous and he let the question hang in the air until Finn couldn’t take the suspense any longer. “If you don’t spill it soon, I’ll spill you right the hell outta this car and onto the pavement. Then maybe you _will_ get run over by a truck!”

“Okay, okay, okay!” Kylo bit his lip before continuing. “I spent the night with Hux.”

Finn screeched at the top of his lungs, “WHAT?! KYLO, NO, WHAT?! Oh god, no wonder you look so damn haggard! He must’ve done something to you! Are you okay?”

“Chill, dude! I’m fine!” Kylo dragged a finger through his smeared, day-old makeup and held it up for Finn to see. “Look, it’s just makeup.”

Finn hazarded a quick glance at the glittery goop Kylo had scraped from his face. “You know, sometimes I wonder about your life choices, Kylo.”

Both boys fell silent for a moment, Finn focusing on the road and Kylo trying to find the words to express just how sweet Hux had been to him. Maybe sweet wasn’t quite the right word. Kind? No, Hux wasn’t exactly _kind_ either… Gentlemanly? He was getting closer, maybe not meaning-wise, but closer with the spelling. Gen - gen - gen… _Genuine._ That was a good way to put it.

“I know you think Hux is bad news. And like, he _is_ pretty weird.”

Finn mumbled, “Now that’s the understatement of the century.”

Kylo shot him a glare.

“Sorry, sorry. Go on.”

“He even says some scary shit sometimes, but y’know… he stood up for me when some jackass called me a faggot. He hasn’t forced me to do anything, either… you know how guys get at parties like that. It’s kind of fucking _refreshing_ how - how… how _real_ he is. I dunno man, it just seems like he actually cares about how what he does affects me. Maybe he _doesn’t_ care, but at least he’s not _pretending_ to care, y’know what I mean?”

An apologetic look played across Finn’s face, the corners of his mouth pulling up into a tight smile. He sighed, “Look Kylo, I’m happy that he’s been treating you alright so far, I really am. It’s just that Hux has a lot of qualities that could potentially manifest in, ahhh I dunno, _violence_ of some kind? You’ve seen those documentaries about serial killers and stuff…”

“He’s not… he’s not like that.” Kylo’s gaze lingered on his lap as he fiddled with a small tear in his jeans. “Just trust me, okay?”

Finn pulled up in front of Poe’s house and took a deep breath, only turning to Kylo once the car was parked and the ignition was off. “Alright, alright, I’ll trust you. Just please keep us in the loop and don’t, like, run away together the second you start dating. I know how much you like _The Great Escape,_ but you’re going to have to control yourself, man.”

Kylo pretended to swoon, “Oh Finn, I always knew you’d have my back! What a pal you are!” Finn rolled his eyes at Kylo’s dramatics and they got out of the car. Before reaching the doorsteps to Poe’s house, Kylo clapped Finn on the shoulder. “Hey, Finn?” Finn glanced back, prompting him to continue. “Thanks.”

“Sure,” Finn said with an understanding nod and a gentle smile.

 

* * *

 

The instant Kylo and Finn entered Poe’s house, they were engulfed by the heavenly aroma of just-baked chocolate chip cookies and blasted with the heavy beat of the _YuGiOh!_ theme song. “Cookies for breakfast?” Finn asked as he stepped past Poe into the kitchen.

Poe shrugged, nonchalant. “It’s Saturday, dude.” He leaned against the kitchen’s granite countertop and picked up the TV remote, pointing it at the screen and lowering the volume. The two kids plastered to the screen turned around in shock.

“Hey _baka,_ turn it back up! We’re trying to - oh, hey Kylo.”

While Finn and Poe began chatting by the counter, Kylo walked over to the kids and gave them each a fist-bump. “‘Sup Drum! What season are you guys on?”

Drum was short for Drum Solo, the nickname of Sammy Seville. Drum was a member of Kylo’s Knights of Ren, a group of kids he taught karate to at his uncle Luke’s studio from time to time. The little Knight ran a hand through his fluffy blonde hair as if it needed adjusting in Kylo’s presence, but it was so puffed up and in his face already that the preening made no difference.

“Duelist Kingdom. Yugi’s grandpa is about to get sent to the shadow realm.”

“Drum! Don’t spoil it,” pleaded Bibi, the younger child seated next to Drum. Bibi was Poe’s adopted sibling, sweet as can be and another one of Kylo’s Knights. From an early age, they felt that they couldn’t identify with the concept of gender, opting to use neutral pronouns. Kylo secretly thought that was really cool and at one time had considered including “agender” in his MySpace profile, but thought better of it. He already felt guilty for lying about being bi just for attention, he didn’t want to appropriate anyone else’s identity.

_I really should change my orientation to “gay” when I get home,_ Kylo thought.

“Kylo, tell Drum not to spoil _YuGiOh!_ for me anymore!” Bibi clenched their little brown fists and puffed out their cheeks in frustration.

“Don’t bring me into this, I thought Dorian was supposed to be the one keeping Drum in line,” Kylo said, raising his hands in mock surrender.

Drum absently tightened and loosened the strings to the hood of his dragon shirt. “Dorian couldn’t hang out today ‘cause he had to go hunting. It’s okay though, I don’t think he likes _YuGiOh!_ very much.”

Kylo drew his brows together. “Hunting?”

“Yeah. With his mom and dad and Nii-san.”

“Nissan? Dorian’s not old enough to drive… what the heck are you talking about, dude?”

Drum’s expression was inscrutable with his hair covering half his face, but Kylo had a feeling that he was rolling his eyes. “Ugh, you’re such a baka gaijin. Nii-san means “brother” in Japanese. _Duh.”_

“He has a -” Kylo paused in realization. _Oh._

_Oh, oh yeah. Dorian. Dorian Hux. Younger brother of Brendon Hux._ Kylo had almost forgotten the relation. He’d never seen the brothers together, in photos or in person. Hux seemed to exist in some alternate dimension, like his family was only a cover for his otherworldly origins. He did always have a certain _loneliness_ about him…

“Brother. Right, I knew that. Speaking of Dorian’s brother,” Kylo whipped his head around to face Finn and Poe who had pulled the cookies out of the oven and were in the middle of putting them on a cooling rack. “I’ve got some _pretty fuckin’ good news_ to tell you, Poe.” Bibi gasped at the profanity, but Kylo didn’t correct himself; it was already out there and he was too excited to censor himself.

Poe tossed a cookie to Kylo and asked, “Does it have anything to do with why you look like you got run over by a truck?”

Kylo flinched as he caught the hot cookie and glared. “I swear to god, if _one more_ person says that, I’m gonna -” As if on cue, Rey burst through the front door. She opened her mouth to ask the question Kylo dreaded so he answered it before she could make a sound. “No, I didn’t get run over by a truck. Now that that’s out of the way, can we go up to your _room, please_ Poe? I need to borrow a change of clothes and the news I’ve got for you isn’t very, uh… child-friendly.”

Rey snorted and crossed her arms, incredulous. “Nice to see you too, Kylo.” She walked over to Drum and Bibi to give one a noogie and the other a soft pat on the head in greeting.

“You two gonna be okay down here for a while?” Poe asked Bibi and Drum while Finn slid a plate of cookies onto the small round table in front of them.

The little Knights responded in unison, “Yeff,” with crumbs falling from their mouths into their laps.

“Great! Let’s _gooo,”_ Kylo practically whined before dashing out of the kitchen, into the hallway, and up the narrow staircase to Poe’s room. Finn, Poe, and Rey followed behind, a second plate of cookies in tow.

 

* * *

 

“What’chu got for me, dude?” Kylo asked Poe as they entered the dimly-lit room. He pointed to a pile of laundry near the closet. “Those clean?”

“Yep. Help yourself,” Poe said. Kylo thanked him and began rummaging through the pile until he found a pair of red gym shorts and a teal t-shirt with some sort of psychedelic print of druids on the front. Shorts and shirt in hand, Kylo headed to the bathroom to wash his face and get changed.

While Kylo busied himself with looking more presentable, the rest of the group got comfortable in their usual spots in Poe’s room - Rey on the slowly shrinking corduroy beanbag chair, Finn on a colorful hand-made cushion sent from Poe’s grandmother in Guatemala, and Poe on the pillow’s twin next to his bed. All settled in, the three helped themselves to the plate of cookies and traded gossip until Kylo returned, plunking himself down on the floor between Rey and Poe.

_“Sooo,”_ Rey sing-songed, “I heard you spent the night with some _guy,_ Kylo. Care to share with the class?”

Poe leaned over to give Kylo a congratulatory slap on the knee. “My _man!_ _Yes!_ How many bases did you run?”

“Bases? Really? Are we still in middle school?” Finn asked, exasperated.

“Hey man, it’s still a valid system,” Poe said and shrugged. “So? You gonna tell us or what?”

Kylo flushed a deep crimson, suddenly feeling uncharacteristically bashful. He pressed his lips together for a moment before answering, gaze cast somewhere on the carpet. “I guess just… uh… first base?” He looked back up to gauge his friends’ reactions - Rey and Finn seemed relieved while Poe looked shocked.

_“First?!_ I thought you hit, like, three consecutive home-runs with the way you looked earlier,” Poe said.

_“He probably scandalized Drum and Bibi,”_ Rey whispered to Finn. Kylo glared at them when they started giggling.

“I mean, we made out for a long time. I probably got a little handsy…” Kylo trailed off, embarrassed by how tame his story was going to turn out. “We held hands, though! When we walked to Hux’s house -”

“HUX?!” Rey and Poe shouted. Finn nodded solemnly. Rey’s relieved expression turned to one of concern, contrary to Poe’s which lit up with pride.

Poe gave Kylo a thumbs-up. “Alright, alright. So you didn’t get past first base, _BUT,”_ he jabbed his finger towards Kylo for emphasis. “You made out with the guy you’ve been crushing on for an eternity. That’s a pretty big deal.”

_“And_ he held his hand, don’t forget that bit,” Finn added. Kylo couldn’t tell if he was being made fun of or not, but the way his heart swelled at the memory of holding Hux’s hand overtook any concern he had about being mocked.

Hesitantly nibbling on a cookie, Rey said, “I didn’t think Hux was the _hand-holding_ type…”

Kylo smiled softly - a secret smile saved for him and the intimacy he had shared with Hux. “He can be really shy sometimes. It’s cute.” His grin widened and he pulled his knees up to his chest. “He let me sleep in his bed, too, but I had to promise that I wouldn’t cuddle him.” His friends exchanged puzzled glances. “What?! I kept my promise!”

“It’s not that,” Rey said. “It’s just weird… Hux never seems concerned when he butts into someone’s personal space… and he made out with you… Why did he get so shy all of a sudden?”

“I don’t know,” Kylo said quietly. “He’s… sometimes he doesn’t even seem real.” A hush fell over the room as they contemplated Kylo’s mysterious statement. Before the silence could get too uncomfortable, Kylo grabbed his jeans off the floor and pulled out the photograph he had swiped from Hux’s dresser. “Hey, hey! I almost forgot to show you guys this. I found it in Hux’s room before I left.” He propped the photo up against the plate of cookies in the center of the room so everyone could see it.

Finn’s eyes went wide. “What on earth is _that?”_

“I think it’s a cat?” Rey said, unsure.

“Damn, dude!” Poe exclaimed. “He on speed or something? Look at his eyes. The cat looks just as crazy!”

A sudden, intense compulsion to defend Hux’s honor overcame Kylo. _“Her name_ is Millicent and she is the love of Hux’s life,” he said snootily, crossing his arms in a huff. “And he’s not on _speed, stupid._ Those are the eyes of an adoring pet-lover.”

Rey, Finn, and Poe continued to gawk at the photograph, so Kylo continued.

“Honestly, I’m surprised that you guys haven’t commented on how handsome he looks. _I_ think it’s a great picture.” Kylo was fully pouting now, disappointed by how unimpressed his friends were. Why couldn’t they see how hot and adorable and wonderful Hux was? _Maybe they’re all secretly jealous,_ Kylo’s ego supplied. _Yeah, that must be it. They wish they had the privilege of getting frisky with Hux. That’s totally it. Definitely_.

“To each his own, I guess,” said Rey with a good-natured laugh. “He still makes me nervous, but… if he’s been good to you, then that’s what really matters to me.”

The side of Kylo’s mouth quirked up into a tight smile as he picked up the photo, holding it close. “Thanks, Rey.”

“Ohhh, you big softie. Come here!” Rey said, tackling Kylo and ruffling his hair. “We might joke around, but really, we’re happy for you. Just be safe and keep us updated, okay?”

Kylo smiled again, wide and genuine this time. “Okay, okay! Now stop fucking up my hair!”

Kylo spent the next hour or so regaling his friends with the full story of what happened at the party and the events that followed. He may have glossed over a few details, like Hux’s “experiments” with other party-goers and his bizarre taste in home decor, or how he wanted to experiment on Kylo. It didn’t really matter did it? He didn’t want his friends to freak out again now that they all had his back. He knew Hux better than they did and if he had to keep some secrets to maintain the peace, then so be it. The last thing he wanted was for there to be bad blood between the people he cared about most.

With the story told and the plate of cookies devoured, Kylo fell asleep, surrounded by his friends and holding the picture of Hux close to his heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finn never did get around to giving Poe a review of HOT TRAXXX 4 MY BOO


End file.
